Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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