Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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