He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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