So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
