I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
