TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
