I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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