doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize