trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
