Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
