I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
