butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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