and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
