He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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