Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You may now shotgun with the bride
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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