wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
