i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize