I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
