Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
