i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
