Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
