you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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