Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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