I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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