Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my being single is dangerous.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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