Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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