we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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