is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've blown a few things in my day
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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