he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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