I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I could make wine with my vomit
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
