no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
