he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
