He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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