You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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