i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
