Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
