Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
