I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
