fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
