just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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