He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Enjoy the penises
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize