I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
