Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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