so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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