i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
