You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
