im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I skipped work to stalk him.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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