I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
