drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
