My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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