wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
