So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
