i barfeds in our rink
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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