Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
