i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
cat food counts as protein by the way
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
How external is "for external use only"?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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