Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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