I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
