U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
