He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize