It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize