dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
