I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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