The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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