No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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