I want to stick my p in your. b.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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