xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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