How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
