Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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