You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize