I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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