you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
