She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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