Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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