Where is the hickey?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
