I accidentally had phone sex last night
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
