she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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