looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
